Monday, June 2, 2014

I've Been the Lucky One

We have another report of harassment in the skeptic-atheist-sphere. Link Here.

I wish I could say I was surprised, but honestly, I'm just not anymore.

I wish I could say I was disapointed, but honestly? I'm just not anymore.

I wish I could say I wanted to go to skeptic or atheist conferences. But I don't anymore.

The pattern of harassment has become the pattern I expect. 

I've often heard it said that the standard you walk past is the standard you accept. Yet women are regularly expected to roll with, walk past, and accept standards of treatment that are unethical, unacceptable and downright frustrating.

I want to be outraged, to have something witty and brilliant to say. I want to add something to this conversation.

But all I can manage is sadness, and a lingering feeling of being a poseur.

I haven't dealt with the career-altering levels of harassment we keep seeing again and again and again. Maybe it's because I'm not in organized skepticism/atheism. Maybe it's because I only just started blogging and talking about these things.

Probably? I've just been damned lucky.

I wrote several days ago about a co-worker of mine who we had to set up an escape plan for since she occasionally rides the train with a harasser. I've never had to do that.

I haven't written about my friend in high school who couldn't go anywhere alone--at school or public--because the school and police didn't take her ex-boyfriends threats of killing her seriously. But it wasn't me.

I've never been turned down for a job to my knowledge because I'm a woman. And at previous jobs, a lack of perceived authority was more likely to come from my age and height, although I'm sure being a woman was also a subconscious factor.

I've only been cat-called to my awareness once.

I've slept over at male friends houses and gotten drunk with them, yet I've never been raped.

I've been the lucky one.

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